Book Title:
Not if I See You First
Book Author:
Eric Lindstrom
Publishing Date:
December 1st, 2015
Publisher:
Poppy
Date Read:
December 8th, 2015
Source:
eARC from publisher via NetGalley - Thank you!

Synopsis

The Rules:

Don’t deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.

Don’t help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.

Don’t be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I’m just like you only smarter.

Parker Grant doesn’t need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That’s why she created the Rules: Don’t treat her any differently just because she’s blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.

When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there’s only one way to react—shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that’s right, her eyes don’t work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn’t cried since her dad’s death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened—both with Scott, and her dad—the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.

Combining a fiercely engaging voice with true heart, debut author Eric Lindstrom’s Not If I See You First illuminates those blind spots that we all have in life, whether visually impaired or not.

My Review

When I first started reading this book, I thought it was going to be one of those novels that I fell head over heels in love with.  So I’m a little bit disappointed that I didn’t love it as much as I thought I was going to.

The story itself is pretty interesting.  Parker is a young girl in high school who is blind.  She and her dad were close, and since he passed away (some people thought it was suicide, but Parker knows he wouldn’t leave her alone in the world), she is living with her aunt, uncle, and snobby (and popular) cousin, who isn’t very pleased to have been forced up leave her life (her school and friends) behind and move into Parker’s house.  They thought it would be easier for Parker, since she knows the house by heart, and if they moved, she would have to get used to navigating a new house.  I liked her aunt and uncle for making that kind of decision for her, but Parker didn’t seem to appreciate it, which drove me insane.

She is suffering with the death of her father, the new people living in her house, and the difficulties she is having with the kids in school – especially now that a boy she used to have quite the relationship with a few years ago is back.  She tries to work off her stress by running (she goes out every morning, navigating her way to a field near her house, where she runs back and forth), but it’s clear that it isn’t enough for her.  While she has friends, someone to help her walk from class to class and help her with notes and classwork, she still feels isolated and alone, and the fact that her former love, and boy who broke her heart beyond repair, Scott, is back in the picture, is only making matters worse.

At first, I really liked Parker’s character.  But unfortunately it didn’t last long.  Parker was downright mean.  I can understand being upset about the death of her father, her mother having been the one who caused her blindness, and her former boyfriend coming back to school (among other things), but there’s only so long you can hold onto a bitter attitude before people just don’t want to be around you anymore.  It didn’t seem like the case here, though.  While Parker tried to move on and make a normal life for herself, she was just so nasty to everyone who tried to be nothing but nice to her.  For some reason, the people just took her insults, anger, and meanness and kept being her friend, but deep down, this would never be the case in real life.

Even after Parker understands what really happened with Scott (which took forever for her to give him a chance to explain), she still pushes him away, brings him closer to her, and pushes him away again.  It’s an on-again off-again kind of thing, and it’s frustrating.  Scott and Parker were only kids when Parker got hurt, and instead of even trying to forgive him, she just kept going on about how awful he was.  In retrospect, Scott spent all of their time doing the sweetest, most romantic things for Parker, loving her for her, and not caring that she was blind.  Even years later, you find out that he’s still thinking of her, despite the fact that she treats him like garbage.  I get the whole thing where she can’t trust him, but come on.

Parker’s attitude and character really just ruined this book for me.  The ending wasn’t what I expected, either, and it kind of made me sad.  It wasn’t what I was hoping for, and I thought things would have turned out differently.

All in all, I don’t think it was a bad book…in fact, I rather liked it.  I just didn’t like Parker’s character as much as I thought I would.

Note: I received an ARC copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 stars
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2 Responses to Not if I See You First by Eric Lindstrom

  1. Deanna says:

    I like your review. I can’t decide if I want to read this one, though.

    • Kelly says:

      I’d say give it a go…most people I’ve seen review it have really enjoyed it. The story itself was pretty good though, so don’t write it off completely.

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